Robots are from Mars and Dolls are from Venus

Undoubtedly, I strongly believe Robots are from Mars and Dolls are from Venus.
On popular request of some of my follower friends I thought of taking plunge on this ironically sensitive topic. Needless to say I have greatly admired the studies of John Gray's series Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus but I have a different perspective --- I think both are from planet earth the only way they could ideally be separated is by saying that Robots are from Mars and Dolls are from Venus (read : when the men are on their ulterior self and women on their beautiful self or vice versa)

People have behavioral patterns. Those patterns are unique for each of us. I agree that some patterns too intense and could be a reason to behave in a particular way but trust me most of human beings would behave in the same way, in a given situation irrespective of their gender. Men and women both get profoundly disturbed by rejection, disapproval, or feeling alone and abandoned. ‘Women are more caring’ -- does that mean that men aren't caring? That's offensive to me. Guys can have a need to share their feelings as much as women have an occasional need to hide in their cocoon. Although men and women value love equally and place the same emphasis and importance on finding and sustaining a close union, there is generally a difference in the way they relate to intimacy.

The intriguing clash between men and women is always present. Men continue to dance between the desire for autonomy and the desire for intimacy. Women continue to seek affirmations of intimacy. A woman's bonding zone, the position where she feels comfortable and fulfilled, is very close to 100% attached. Men alternate between a wish for attachment and a wish for separateness. They feel most comfortable and willing to bond in the middle; they want to be between separated and attached. When men reach a state of attachment, they experience anxieties about engulfment and weakness. Conversely, when they move too far in the direction of separateness, they begin to feel subtle but nagging fears about abandonment, isolation, and aloneness. "When you compare this with women's ideal zone for bonding, it becomes clear that there is a built-in clash between what women want and what men want."

"We may mistakenly believe that differences exist only during the early stages of love and that with sufficient caring, trust, and time we eventually will become one with our lover and will experience no more conflict." It won't happen. So the bad news is that "Love with a capital L" will not magically alter. However, "Love" doesn’t simply materialize. It gets its own contours by all life's experiences. So the good news is that if "Love" is learned, it can be changed. It is possible to understand the differences between men and women and then learn to deal with them. Men need recreation in order to relax. Women need loyalty in order to feel secure. Both need their own interests but they also need interests that overlap. They need playtime together. Both need their own space and privacy but they also need to come together and support each other. He needs a lot of recreational time together. She needs the support and loyalty that makes her feel secure.
When a woman usually goes her way while a man usually goes his way, the "ways" often part. When he does not support her, she may look for security elsewhere. When she doesn't act as a recreational companion, he may look for a playmate elsewhere.

But if books advocating the notion of gender differences are so not believable then why do they sell like hot pan cakes? "People like to hold on to their conventional thought process because they make life efficient. "If you can look at a man or woman and not have to understand them or decide anything about them, but instead just apply a kind of shorthand to them, then it makes life easier for you." I think it is less to do with gender and more to do with your personality. It's a great thing to realize that everyone doesn't think like you, but that it's not because they're a man or a woman, it's because they're human.
Understanding the opposite gender means understanding that gender differences, intimacy factor, attached and separate, gender roles and gender correctness are magnified by relationships. Both genders are important to nurture life in this universe and hence my reasoning in favor of both Robots and Dolls.

Why it is great to be a man!
· A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase
· You can open all your own jars
· When clicking thru the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying
· People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them
· You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you everywhere you go
· Your last name stays put
· You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
· The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades
· You don't have to curl up next to some big, hairy guy every night
· If you're 34 and single, no one notices
· Chocolate is just another snack
· You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood
· You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked
· You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the bathroom
· You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
· You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes

Why it is great to be a woman!
· A simple "smile" may add divine value to guy’s stupid one-liners.
· You can have shoes of different heights
· The bedroom is yours, the living and dining rooms are yours.. infact the whole house is yours
· If you said : "I love my mother" no one thinks it sissy
· If you said : "I love my father" no one thinks you have homosexual tendencies.
· When you cause driving accidents, no one beats you up.
· My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely…short term memory loss.
· I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 40 can fit into their stuff.
· We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
· We always get to choose the movie
· Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold
· PMS is a legal defense for murder
· 2 words- multi orgasmic…I wonder if any guy doesn’t know
· Sweat is sexy on us
· We have a higher tolerance to pain
· We don’t have excessive amounts of body hair …exceptions exist though
· We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return
· Women smell better
· Women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - a good 'make out' fixes all
· When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, there are dwarf
· Last but not the least, just a simple yup..yup..yup is enough to drive a man crazy

By:-
Vikram S Bhatia

Know your Balls !!!

Yeah….i know it is cricket season…and most of you would be glued to the idiot box trying to know the in’s and out’s of each ball in IPL season. Though I am not an avid cricket buff but the sheer engagement of the masses to this game gives me a bloody rush. While looking at one of the high performance bouts I did some introspection on something which influences our life’s more than that ….our body language. Like in cricket once the ball is released, the trajectory of the ball is influenced by all of the nuances of bowler’s stance, approach, aggression, intention, contact and follow through because they are all connected in one swift motion. Similarly, each interaction we engage in conveys a different body language which is a function (read balls) of facial expressions, verbal tone and the words we choose.
We’ve all heard the saying “Never bet against the person with passion.” Similarly, even the most skillfully worded communication falls flat without the key ingredient of positive body language. All of us on an average have atleast ten interactions in a day in our lives; each interaction creates a new file folder in our brains where a new file lands in one of the folders …a good interaction or a bad interaction folder. Many times we begin to enter into the interactions based on the beliefs formed from our previous experience however the in true sense the resultant consequence of an interaction is based on our own body language in an interaction.
As a spouse we ignore or become incensed by transgressions depending on whether we believe the bodylanguage. Think of a time when a friend behaved in a way that appeared insensitive or inconsiderate. Did you give her the benefit of the doubt? Why or why not? Our body language shapes our world just as the presence or absence of follow through influences the flight of a ball that has been released by the bowler.
If you engage with positive body language as the starting point, you can concentrate on getting the desired outcomes. Listen actively to the other person’s viewpoint. In most conversations we focus on getting to the answer instead of really understanding the other points of view or truly clarifying our own. When you understand where someone is coming from, you can perhaps find common ground to begin a neutral conversation that can progress in a healthy way rather than indulging in the “ain’t it awfuls” or finger pointing interactions.

“Don’t hate the player hate the game”

Ever wonder why our perceptions about people their deeds and actions make us opinioned about them..opinions which don’t take time turning into a perception and gradually we start believing that it is for real. How many times do we think that we are holding a brutal ego evolving ourselves to be egoistic in our approach to relationships close to our heart? An approach which breaks those tender hooks which binds us together in beautiful relationships as individuals, we tend to ignore THEM who were in the past our lifelines. In most of the instances when people tell me Perception is reality…I disagree ‘coz I believe it’s the big daddy Super Ego which has crucified our sense of thinking, behaving and conditioning to a situation..no wonder Ego in our interpersonal transactions blankets our approach towards other beings and life in general morphing a perception which is really not us. An interpersonal interaction minus ego would give a different perception as compared to one with ego serving royally. So how can we say that perception is a reality when it is engulfed with fine prints of EGO, it’s the EGO which is the culprit. It is not the small player Perception but the big game called EGO.As a mature human being (read soul) what is expected out of us is that we must relinquish control. We should shrink our ego and concentrate on our altruism, a feat difficult in present world but certainly not impossible. Who likes to be called egoistic, who wants to be known as snob, you may portray a picture but your true conscious may mirror an altogether different…could be your flamboyant lifestyle which is pleasing to many and abrasive to many concerned.
But all ego’s are not bad… ever heard of a term “Positive ego”…(trust me I have not coined it). It’s about that fire which you need in whatever work we do. It is all about that balance in life. It is about being simple and egoistic and not simple or egoistic. Extremism is never good, you tend to get exploited or made an outcast.As they rightly say personas evolve and get crafted with experiences of life, patches of life display footprints of your interactions with life and viola.. you would be able to nurture a new self in urself ..atleast kick start the initial crafting to become somebody…somebody great and admired by all.
"It is difficult to be simple" and "One who has mastered that art is the real winner"

By - Vikram Singh Bhatia

Soul to Soulful

Too exhilarating for any guy is to find a girl who is too gorgeous (duh..default programming with guys ..you see... don't expect me to be any different). So here i was at a coffee shop expecting the unexpected..with no idea what the next moment has in store for me..was there to meet only a guy friend..on a cup of coffee and then I happen to meet this stunning beauty...though she was coming from a long journey and was tired... but still was gregarious …an amazing damsel who spoke like a sparkling diamond with those earthen looks and glow of a rising sun, coming out of a facade of intertwined aura of compassionate and eternal beauty expressing her soulful and passionate desire of togetherness and belonging…..crafting the never ending blogs of happiness and contentment. Her thoughts equally mesmerizing and way too stimulating to make you sink into quicksand of excitement making you go bonkers and get totally glued to this bronze look..but wait I slapped myself to senses….i am not going to be carried away …I need to understand her like a tiny tod taking first baby step …try to look into those brown limpid pools and think what they really expect.. she may already like somebody...i may have missed the bus...i am not the one for her...with a whole volley of thoughtful puzzle i decided to know her more.
Guess by this time you must be actually wondering what is so special about this girl...i mean you can always find a more gorgeous girl (atleast a dozen in fifteen men find other girl to be more beautiful than their own). Well since you insist to know, like this Sohni (read exceptional beauty) got inquisitive…I would first like to tell you about people in general, people are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within and I think the recipe for beauty is to have less illusion and more Soul, she was most soulful with immense eternal beauty to retreat from the belief of pain or pleasure in the body into the unchanging calm and spiritual harmony. A guy can die to have such a soulful and eternally gorgeous soulmate dressed out in all her finery.
By - Vikram Singh Bhatia