Are you with the right MATE ??

Tensions and stress…arguments to perpetual nagging from elders…you get everything if you are of a marriageable age and not married. Tough questions like – Are you waiting for mesmerizing Gerard (Read: Gerard Butler) or angelic Kim (Read: Kim Kardashian)? Guess you have some magic wand with age defying miracles? So you believe in celibacy? Are you normal or there is recent radical transition in your interests towards a gender? From emotional melodrama to ground realities, you go through everything almost every day. Then comes turn of suggestions, why don’t you find someone nice and fall in love, I can help you meet someone really good, I know of a nice girl in my relation, he is our family friend’s son…and the list goes on. As human beings we all want a relationship but paranoid of the fact that I may end up being with the wrong partner.

We all want to fall in love and get blessed with a blissful life with our partner but have lot of apprehensions about this love relationship. A Relationship that will make us feel that we are loved to the core. I believe every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You understand, know, become friends and get mushy with. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "He swept me of my feet" or “She drives me wild and crazy”. Now, picture this expression, it implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then somebody pulled the ground below your feet or I am a disguised lunatic when she is around (PUN intended). If you have ever fallen in love you would agree that falling in love is spontaneous. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades away. It's a natural cycle of every relationship. Gradually sweet cute ever elating whispers of your spouse would intensify into endless yap, driving you nuts. Most certainly, I would agree that there is a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much subtle or even intolerable subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start introspecting, "Am I with the right mate?"

And as you reflect on the fairy tale of love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. But the answer to this dilemma does not lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could and TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few months/years later, because the key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. Like falling in love, sustaining and building love is not a spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It squeezes of your time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. It is a compound total of emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy which can only be felt and not tangibly expressed. Love is NOT a mystery. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Almighty determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!!

Yes, I am on a qui vive now !!!