Know your Balls !!!

Yeah….i know it is cricket season…and most of you would be glued to the idiot box trying to know the in’s and out’s of each ball in IPL season. Though I am not an avid cricket buff but the sheer engagement of the masses to this game gives me a bloody rush. While looking at one of the high performance bouts I did some introspection on something which influences our life’s more than that ….our body language. Like in cricket once the ball is released, the trajectory of the ball is influenced by all of the nuances of bowler’s stance, approach, aggression, intention, contact and follow through because they are all connected in one swift motion. Similarly, each interaction we engage in conveys a different body language which is a function (read balls) of facial expressions, verbal tone and the words we choose.
We’ve all heard the saying “Never bet against the person with passion.” Similarly, even the most skillfully worded communication falls flat without the key ingredient of positive body language. All of us on an average have atleast ten interactions in a day in our lives; each interaction creates a new file folder in our brains where a new file lands in one of the folders …a good interaction or a bad interaction folder. Many times we begin to enter into the interactions based on the beliefs formed from our previous experience however the in true sense the resultant consequence of an interaction is based on our own body language in an interaction.
As a spouse we ignore or become incensed by transgressions depending on whether we believe the bodylanguage. Think of a time when a friend behaved in a way that appeared insensitive or inconsiderate. Did you give her the benefit of the doubt? Why or why not? Our body language shapes our world just as the presence or absence of follow through influences the flight of a ball that has been released by the bowler.
If you engage with positive body language as the starting point, you can concentrate on getting the desired outcomes. Listen actively to the other person’s viewpoint. In most conversations we focus on getting to the answer instead of really understanding the other points of view or truly clarifying our own. When you understand where someone is coming from, you can perhaps find common ground to begin a neutral conversation that can progress in a healthy way rather than indulging in the “ain’t it awfuls” or finger pointing interactions.

“Don’t hate the player hate the game”

Ever wonder why our perceptions about people their deeds and actions make us opinioned about them..opinions which don’t take time turning into a perception and gradually we start believing that it is for real. How many times do we think that we are holding a brutal ego evolving ourselves to be egoistic in our approach to relationships close to our heart? An approach which breaks those tender hooks which binds us together in beautiful relationships as individuals, we tend to ignore THEM who were in the past our lifelines. In most of the instances when people tell me Perception is reality…I disagree ‘coz I believe it’s the big daddy Super Ego which has crucified our sense of thinking, behaving and conditioning to a situation..no wonder Ego in our interpersonal transactions blankets our approach towards other beings and life in general morphing a perception which is really not us. An interpersonal interaction minus ego would give a different perception as compared to one with ego serving royally. So how can we say that perception is a reality when it is engulfed with fine prints of EGO, it’s the EGO which is the culprit. It is not the small player Perception but the big game called EGO.As a mature human being (read soul) what is expected out of us is that we must relinquish control. We should shrink our ego and concentrate on our altruism, a feat difficult in present world but certainly not impossible. Who likes to be called egoistic, who wants to be known as snob, you may portray a picture but your true conscious may mirror an altogether different…could be your flamboyant lifestyle which is pleasing to many and abrasive to many concerned.
But all ego’s are not bad… ever heard of a term “Positive ego”…(trust me I have not coined it). It’s about that fire which you need in whatever work we do. It is all about that balance in life. It is about being simple and egoistic and not simple or egoistic. Extremism is never good, you tend to get exploited or made an outcast.As they rightly say personas evolve and get crafted with experiences of life, patches of life display footprints of your interactions with life and viola.. you would be able to nurture a new self in urself ..atleast kick start the initial crafting to become somebody…somebody great and admired by all.
"It is difficult to be simple" and "One who has mastered that art is the real winner"

By - Vikram Singh Bhatia